Traveling is an incredible experience for a couple because let’s face it, you get kisses in exotic places or laugh when one of you does something silly or extremely stupid. Going on a trip together will push your limits (or make or break the relationship) and at times it can be stressful, tiring and end in arguments. Not everything on the trip will be romantic. Couples can easily fight over packing, hygiene and spending money on cuddling perpetually drunk koalas. If Aaron or I screw up, our mistakes only make us grow as people and push us toward growing a more healthy relationship.
Aaron and I are very passionate people and we also have a language barrier because we’re an international couple. Sometimes we get a headache trying to figure each other out even though we’re being as direct as we can. At times, culture does play a role in our understanding of the other person. Despite this, we fight for our love and make our relationship work. Planning a trip together can be vexing, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Here’s some couple travel tips on how not to kill your boo while wanderlusting.
I believe this is the most important part of going on a trip. Usually I make an itinerary and Aaron goes along with what I’ve planned. I’m picky about what I want to eat, but I let Aaron choose what he wants to keep him happy. If I want to go to the beach, he’ll agree and he’s pretty good at staying on schedule and going everywhere I want to go.
This may be a no brainer, but you have to open your mouth and say what’s on your mind in a tactful way and place. There’s always a time and place to discuss things. Don’t let the anger build up until it explodes. By not saying anything because you don’t want to ruin the holiday, you’re actually ruining it with all the negative emotions inside. Relax, take a step back and discuss these things with your partner.
Listen, Not Hear
This is the number one cause of all arguments in all aspects of relationships. If your partner is telling you about some place they want to go, make sure you take it into consideration. If your partner really wants to go to an Italian restaurant, then work it out.
Plan Everything Thoroughly
While Aaron and I were planning our trip to Bali and Vietnam, then later Jeju, I had to make an itinerary and we had to agree on it. Aaron would also add to the list, but we also spoke about accommodation and how to save money. The way it works is I plan and he takes care of accommodation.
Track Your Spending and Money
Aaron is a bit better with money than I am, so he always reminds me about what I spend and where so I can keep track of it on my Pocket Expense app. Money is the main reason why some couples fight, so it’s important to set a budget and know who is paying for what. I also highly recommend splitting everything equally so that no arguments ensue.
Respect your partner at all times
New spaces don’t mean new rules. The same protocol you follow at home is the same one you follow abroad. No name calling, no freaking out when something goes awry. It takes two of you to make it work so make sure your levels of respect are the same.
Don’t Blame Each Other
No one is perfect. Everyone is going to have a major mess up some time and it may cause some eye rolling. I often forget things, but Aaron has grown more patient to help me remember to double check and make sure I have everything. If you get mad at each other, nothing will get solved, and cause tensions and bad feelings. The best thing to do is to take a deep breath until you get enough oxygen in your brain to assess the situation calmly.
The more I travel with Aaron, the more I realize, alone time is a necessity. I need space to work on my blog and social media. Aaron sometimes needs a break from me so he can think and do as he pleases. In Bali, I did a tour of Ubud while he enjoyed the beach. When we met up again, we came back relaxed and ready to tackle more adventures together.
Know Your Alcohol Limits
Aaron and I aren’t big drinkers, but there have been times where I’ve had a few and have gotten a little rowdy. He stays sober and makes sure we’re in a good situation. Everyone wants to have a good time so make sure you’re in an environment where both parties can enjoy themselves.
Use Your Talents
Using what God gave you is definitely a plus on vacation. When Aaron first came to visit me in Japan, he couldn’t speak the language, but I could. My knowledge of Okinawa and Japanese helped make our time together more enjoyable. In Korea, the ball is in his court as he is a native and also has a fantastic sense of direction. Find out what you can and cannot do, and use it to your advantage. The power of a couple goes a long way. Two is a team and it’s you and your partner against the world.
Be Strong if the Other Gets Sick
Aaron has been my lifeline at times. While were traveling on Jeju, sleeping on the floor killed my back. On the day we were supposed to climb Halla Mountain, I couldn’t get out of bed and was walking like Frankenstein. He pulled me out of bed, massaged my back and pulled me up the mountain when I thought I couldn’t make it. The moral of the story is, you need to take care of each other. Let your partner take care of you. It fosters intimacy, tenderness, and a whole new level of respect for the other.
Take Photos Together
I am the queen of the selfie stick and working on my Instagram and YouTube. If you look on my Instagram, you’ll think that Aaron isn’t in my photos all the time. The truth is, I choose not to show our couple photos, because it is something I like to share with my friends and family. Those photos are ours and sometimes Aaron isn’t comfortable showing up on my social media. His parents always love our photos so we make sure to take plenty to share with them.
Let it go
Nothing can ruin a trip together like bringing up things that happened and making the other person feel bad. If you let it go, you’re not only doing yourself a favor, but your partner as well.
The goal of a holiday is to be romantic and enjoy your partner. You get to push each other to new limits by putting yourself in interesting settings and places. Set boundaries, parameters and back up plans for your back up plans. What tips would you add to the list? What keeps your relationship alive and well while traveling? I would love to hear back from you all.