My Biggest Difficulties in Korea

A lot of the times, I get DMs asking me what my biggest difficulties in Korea. When I started writing this post, I was in a happier place in my life, so I was like… Where are my struggles? I feel like now, more than ever is a good time to address them and let you guys know what I struggle with as an expat in South Korea.

Many want to know what is it like to be a foreigner in South Korea? How are foreigners treated in South Korea? Well, grab your popcorn and start sipping your tea because I’m about to spill a hell of a lot of some very real, very personal struggles I have living in Korea. 

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Constantly Being Asked Personal Questions

One of the things that really bother me is, “남자 친구 있어요? Do you have a boyfriend?” While this may seem harmless to them, I’m starting to get super annoyed. I am a proud feminist and I don’t need a man in my life to stand tall and proud. The only thing most men in my life have done is send me to the drug store for the headaches they give me. After getting this question too many times, I have learned to respect Japanese not asking this or keeping quiet about their significant others.

I also get asked when I’m getting married and having children. I realize in Korean society, once a woman has children, she finally has status and is seen as a contributing member of society. While I’m sad the world still thinks this way, I also don’t think a woman’s worth stems from her reproductive organs.

Fast Trends

Right now the biggest trends are the cheerleader skirts (thanks Twice) and the padded jackets. I think it’s so funny that Koreans think they’re trend setters in this aspect because where I come from a long padded jacket is a staple in Chicago. Have you ever gotten wind burn through your jeans? No? Well, it’s painful and never fun. I adopted the longer jacket trend long before I ever lived in South Korea.

Some of these trends come and go so fast, I literally get whiplash like… Wasn’t that in style like a week ago? When I was a teenager, I wanted to follow all the coolest trends, but as an adult, I could really care less. I wear what I like and that’s that. It just goes to show it’s never cool to be different from someone else in Korea…

Pollution

Right now, this is one of the biggest offenders to my physical and mental health. The pollution this winter in Korea is projected to be at its worst with the dirty air remaining stagnant over Seoul. I don’t remember the last time I took a deep breath and was able to really feel rejuvenated after. I can literally taste the dirty air in my mouth and it makes me never want to set foot outside. I use filtered face masks and an Airvax air purifier, but it still blows my damn mind I even need to use them. Clean air should just be a human right.

I’m more sensitive to polluted than Koreans because I grew up breathing clean air. It also makes me sad they never knew the joys of walking around without an umbrella and playing in the snow. Any precipitation coming from the sky is contaminated.

The pollution air count in Chicago is about 37 where it is about twice or three times that in Korea on a good day. This kind of pollution has been contributing to my recent health decline and really making me reevaluate whether or not I want to stay in Korea for the long term. This is the first time I’ve ever questioned it and I deserve to breathe clean air… Everyone does.

Food

Luckily, living near Seoul means that I have a wider variety of food options compared to other parts of Korea. For instance, it’s a lot easier for me to find vegetarian or vegan friendly restaurants. Most houses in Korea don’t come with an oven and I’m also one of the luckier ones that does indeed have one.

As a vegetarian, I commonly cook at home, but you bet I like to make my own food because for whatever reason, western food is pumped full of sugar. The bread makes my teeth wanna rot and fall out of my head and the spaghetti sauce for pasta is either sweet or spicy. There is no in between.

If you’re a vegetarian, many Korean soups are made with meat or fish stock so you have to be careful depending on how strict you are.

Fearing For My Safety

You may think that this shouldn’t be an issue, but it is. In America, if someone grabs you or threatens your safety, you best believe you can give them a good crack and the police will be on your side. Self defense is an actual cool thing. In Korea, the law gets pretty tricky. You’re only allowed to use force to get away. If you use more than that and the person who attacked you ends up in the hospital, you are the aggressor and have to pay damages. Pretty screwed up, right?

I’m always terrified to use any sort of physical force because I know Koreans know the loophole and won’t hesitate to go to the hospital to file a report so they can get money from being attacked even if they were the aggressor.

Since I have a dog, I’m constantly outside walking her because I trained her to go potty outside. This makes old men think it’s okay to talk to me because I’m foreign and “open”. Sometimes they even approach me, ask me if I’m Russian (like whut?!), and even bark at me and my dog. Let’s just say that I’ve had enough and if they follow me, I stand directly underneath a CCTV that is monitored especially by the police department in my city. It usually makes them go away and does the trick. I also had to train my dog to bark at them and she protects me by pushing them away if they get too close.

When it comes to fearing for my safety, I always fear old men the most as they are the biggest offenders.

Not Being Able to Voice My Concerns

While I can talk to other expats about my struggles of feeling homesick, the chaos out in the streets because people don’t know how to walk on one side of the road, and other concerns, I can never bring this up to my Korean friends or coworkers. They see this as an insult to their country and then abruptly bring up, “Well, if you don’t like it here, just go home!” Even though I heard them complaining about the same thing the day before to someone else… Like WHUT?!

I’ve found that the more you know about Korean culture and Korean work place habits, the easier it will be for you. The faster you adapt, the easier your life will be.

On that note, I can never let my coworkers know exactly what I’m thinking because I’m terrified of them using any sort of information against me. It’s all about saving face here. As I’m getting more used to the culture, I realize what I can and cannot share. Knowing what to say and when to say it is very crucial in blending in. By being positive or pretending to be positive when I don’t feel that way, I can blend in and people will leave me alone for the most part. Basically, I learned as Americans, part of our culture is to overshare. In Korea…Just.Don’t. Do. It.

American Holidays

I know I should truly count my blessings because at least I can find an American style dinner at many places now. This may not seem like a big one for most people, but it’s actually quite a huge struggle for me. Around November and December when the weather quickly turns to crap, I find myself super depressed. The days are shorter and colder and I find it very difficult to get out of bed in the morning.

I wish I could sit around the kitchen table and share a plate of food with my parents. I miss my dad’s high pitched laughing and terrible dad jokes (now you know where I get my sense of humor from).

I wish I could go to Millennium Park with my friends and ice skate. I wish I could decorate the tree and make tamales with my mom. I wish for those annoying moments where my family’s habits get on my nerves, but we still come together anyway. I wish all the women could get together and make crustalli.

There are so many things I wish for that I can’t have. When you’re away from such rich traditions that are a part of you, it hurts a lot. I’m proud of being American and the cultural heritage I have from bother parents. It’s a part of who I am and I can’t stand that it’s been taken away from me for a long time… I know I made the choice to stay overseas, but that still doesn’t make it any less easy.

For the past few years, I couldn’t listen to, “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” without bursting into tears. Now, I can’t listen to any Christmas music without wanting to make a puddle around me. Yes, even “Frosty the Snowman” makes me emotional.

This kind of stuff really makes me miss my time in Japan and the ability to take time off during Christmas…

KIIP Courses

As you guys know, I failed level two back in August (by one test question) and was sentenced to 80 more hours of hell by retaking the class. These courses are a huge time commitment and I feel like I’m wasting a very large portion of my time by attending the classes. In addition, the teacher I have no is not a very good one. 

This “teacher” admitted on the first day that they never taught in their life and spent their professional career working in radio. In addition, they are never on task and are constantly talking at the students instead of fostering understanding of Korean culture and language. I may or may not have cried a few times coming home from work and after class because I didn’t want to be there. 

The Korean way of teaching just doesn’t vibe with me and I hate it the most. To combat this, I’ve just been going online and learning with resources that have translations and help. I’ve been using Korean Class 101 and so far so good.

This is just my negative experience as a foreigner in Korea so don’t let this get you down or make you never want to come to Korea. Being a foreigner in South Korea is of course no easy feat around the holidays or when it gets super cold and the daylight is shorter. Most foreigners in Korea have problems and I’m no exception. My experiences don’t necessarily mean you will have the same experiences. You may or may not. 

This post contains affiliate links which means at no additional cost to you, I make a small commission to help keep Gina Bear’s Blog running. Thanks for your support!

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