This blog post is still very, very difficult for me to read and talk about. Sometimes when I read it, I get a horrible flashback that reminds me of how truly helpless I was during these situations which it occurred. And I feel even more angry that the bystanders did nothing to help us when it happen.
I wrote this blog post because I wanted to share a very real experience of something horrible that happened to me while I was in Japan. And despite Japan being on of the safest countries on the planet, something shitty still happened to me. Blessed will be the day when women no longer have to look over their shoulders when they travel or walk in their own neighborhoods. Until that day happens, I will keep sharing these experiences all over the world because I want other women to be aware.
The crime rate in Japan is low, so many think that Japan is safe, and it is. While I can leave my iPhone on the table or my purse on a chair and come back with everything fully intact, there are still some things to watch out for. Despite the low rape statistics of 1.2 per 100,000, many sexual assaults go unreported. As safe as Japan is, as a woman, no matter where you are in the world, you still need to be careful. You can be a victim anywhere.
The Gion Summer Festival in Kyoto
In the summer of 2014, my youngest sister just turned 16 years old. We were sightseeing in Kyoto, minding our own business, and pleasantly watching the famous Gion Festival Parade. The temperature was in the high 90s and we were dressed for the weather—my sister in a t-shirt and shorts, myself in a strappy sundress. For the temperature being as hot as it was, there was an old man about a foot shorter than I standing too close to me and my sister. He kept trying to get closer to my sister. Why he wanted to move so close to her, I didn’t know, and I could only imagine the sickening reason why. My only mission was I wasn’t going to let him lay a finger on her. Goosebumps began to rise on my skin as I felt his disgusting breath on my back.
Every time we moved away, he inched closer still. My heart was pounding. I was so worried he was trying to steal something from my bag, I put my bag and my sister in front of me. Damn him to hell if he would touch my sister on my watch. I felt better having her back close to my body and despite the soaring temperatures, I felt ice cold. Protecting her gave me a bit of courage. If he grabbed me, I’m a bit older and I can deal with something happening to me. I would never be able to forgive myself if something were to happen to her. While this incident was happening, all the Japanese were moving away from us, giving this creep more room to get closer.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I put my elbows out behind me and whispered to my sister in Spanish to go over the guardrail. After helping her over, I started waving my hand for a female police officer to assist us. When I turned around, he had disappeared. To this day, I’m grateful he never touched us, but what happened was too close of a call for comfort.
That day, I made a mistake not standing up for myself (and I still beat myself up for it even though I did the best I could). I should have looked the pervert in the eye and told him to bugger off. This was a horrible situation, and I’m glad I learned from it. Since then, I have never made the same mistake again. If I notice someone trying to creep on me, I will stare at them and make sure they know I’ve seen them (I’m also not afraid to hit someone).
Living on Okinawa, I encounter horrible debauchery every time I go out to the club. Japanese guys aren’t the only ones capable of acting like animals. American military men are far worse. This isn’t to say all of them act like monsters when they’re drunk, but the majority of them (from what I’ve seen) do. If you ever go to Okinawa, stay out of Fantasy Space. Nothing good ever happens there. I constantly encountered drunk military men who are very aggressive and pushy. The grab Japanese and foreign women alike with no repercussions for their actions. They take Japanese girls from their friends to dance when they feel like it and these frightened girls never know how to deal with a pushy and drunk military guy. It’s disgusting.
It was then that I learned a valuable lesson. You have to look out for number one at all times. If you’re an expat woman or on holiday in a foreign country, this makes you an easier target. Most countries that host foreign nationals don’t care about what happens to their guests. You have to protect yourself if you’re a woman because no one is going to stand up for you. I repeat, no one.
I know these points have been repeated countless times, but it’s never a bad thing to read them again and reinforce them.
Tell Someone
If you’re in the club, tell the bouncer. The thought may not cross you or maybe you think it’s acceptable in a club. Newsflash. Groping behaviors are never okay. The bouncers are there to protect the clientèle. If they don’t, it’s a sketchy place and you should stay out of there.
Get Physical
If you punch the creep or hurt them, you’re only doing a favor to yourself and other women. If local authorities do present themselves, you will not get in trouble for defending yourself. Sexual harassment is becoming a more “serious” offense in Japan. If you’re afraid of the cops, don’t be. What is the pervert going to say? She hit me for touching her butt? Sexual harassment is a serious accusation.
Make A Scene
If you’re in a public place, chances are, attracting attention to yourself will warrant the cops or attention from bystanders. Creeps don’t want an audience so the more ruckus you cause, the better.
Go Accompanied
Use the buddy system. The easiest targets are women who look meek and alone. It’s sad that in today’s world women can’t go out alone in peace. I notice when I’m in a group friends, the chances of groping are lower.
Don’t Blame Yourself
Many days, the conversation always starts, “What was she wearing?” What you wear shouldn’t be the issue. Even the most moderately dressed women get groped on trains in Tokyo daily. It’s not your fault there are chauvinistic losers dwelling in society’s dark pits and you have to put up with it. You have the right to feel safe.
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted there is help. There’s a support group called Sexual Assault Support and Help For Americans Abroad (SASHAA). This organization is not only dedicated to helping Americans but other expatriate women. They provide advice and support the embassies do not. They let you know what your rights are in each country and what you can do should you want to pursue justice.
For more on sexual harassment in Japan, please read, “On Sexual Harassment Part 1” by This Japanese Life. The author highlights Japan’s progression of sexual harassment cases and what Japan is doing now. Also, check out sexual harassment and how it is handled in the ALT community, “Sexual Harrassment and ALTs“.
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2 Comments on My Experience with Sexual Harassment in Japan
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As a woman who lived in Tokyo as a teenager and in my early twenties (I’m in my mid-twenties now) I can confirm that my experience was that sexual harassment in Japan is tolerated, even socially encouraged, and the victim is regarded as a potentially mentally-unstable complainer. I’d only lived there for three days when I found myself getting groped from behind during rush hour. I was a teenager and it was too crowded to move, and I was too scared to say anything.
The sad thing is, it really only got worse from there. The attitude among my Japanese girlfriends is that sexual harassment is just part of life. No one thinks about reporting getting groped on the train, because the police would just laugh at you, ignore you or patronize you. I’m not quite as knowledgeable about what it’s like in the workplace for women; but I’ll put it this way… (This is just my experience, so I’m not making a blanket statement)… If I, as a young woman, ever commented to authority on something inappropriate or even potentially dangerous going on, I would get quickly shut down and belittled. The expectation was that I keep my mouth shut about it for the sake of Wa, and my only regret now is that I hadn’t been louder. It’s okay to “disrespect the culture” or “disrupt Wa” when it threatens the security of yourself or people in your life. You don’t have be a good gaijin if it means letting bastards get away with violence or harassment!
I feel like the worst of it is from the older Japanese businessmen, maybe >50 yrs, at least in Tokyo. They’ll bump into you, openly grope you, mock you, proposition you; expect you to let them have the open seat on the train, and adhere to them at all times as wise and seasoned authorities on morality and politics, etc etc. I’m so done with old Japanese businessmen. When I go back to visit Tokyo and I see a man in a suit getting unusually close, I get my fist ready just for good measure. I feel like most younger men in Tokyo are fairly disrespectful too; they’re just more sneaky about it. They’ll just take pictures and do God knows what with them.
I pray for the strength of all Japanese women. The only way change can happen is if they take back the power into their own hands. They are so strong. They shouldn’t have to endure what they do.
I think Japan is slowly (and when I say it, I mean slower than molasses) fixing this problem. There’s announcements on the trains that if you encounter a chiikan so say something and usually an elderly man will grab the pervert and lead them away. If not, make sure you get photos of the perve or a good elbow. It’s really sad how they tolerate the harassment but they also take the “it can’t be helped” attitude which drives me insane.
I’m sorry this happened to you and like you something bad had to happen to me in order for me to make a louder noise. Now I no longer tolerate this kind of behavior and I’ve been known to get physical. The less docile you are, the more a pervert isn’t going to try anything funny with you. They don’t want an audience. So get loud and shame the asshole for the creep they are.
It’s not fair for Japanese women to have to go through this either, but at the same time, there are small movements occurring to fight back against this.