Dicking Around The Deulmusae Penis Restaurant in Pocheon

Have you ever been to a quiet place, given a sly smile to your friends, and with a grin that speaks of nothing good whispered, “Penis….” Cue the challenge to start saying this phallic word louder and louder until a) someone chickens out or b) you have attracted the attention of all passerbys. I personally couldn’t pass up a chance to go dicking around at the Deulmusae (들무새) Penis Restaurant in Pocheon so now I’m gonna tell you all about it.

As a blogger, I have to give a disclaimer that everything following the above paragraph is Not Safe for Work. (Okay, this probably includes the beginning paragraph now that I think about it, but you get it.) You have been warned. From here on out it’s nothing but full speed ahead on bad dad jokes that will tickle your pickle.

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Aside from Korea’s Penis Park and Love Land in Jeju, there is also another penis themed place about an hour north of Seoul.

How did this wonderfully phallic restaurant get all of its ding-dong decor? Okay kids, go get your popcorn and gather round the fire because this is gonna be a good one. One day, a Buddhist monk in a particularly trolly mood decided there was too much cold, female energy at the restaurant. Since he’s a monk and he can’t get none, he also stated the land’s vaginal appearance added to the overwhelming yin (and most likely his blue balls). Taking the monk’s word seriously, the owner decided to put dicks in the ceramic cutlery to balance the energies.

It didn’t take long until more wood was erected to appease the feminine energies and a bunch of old people couldn’t wait to knock on it. Do you find this sentence punny? 😉

Even though this restaurant is out in the middle of nowhere, it’s kind of hard to miss because of all the sausages leading up to the establishment. The Deulmusae Penis Restaurant Pocheon literally screams “get it in” because of all the extra love motels in the shapes of castles with flashing lights. (I hear through the grapevine older Koreans head to Pocheon to go hiking and then have swinging parties which is why these hotels are placed near trails. Don’t quote me on this though.)

When you walk in, expect all phallusies here. Have your camera ready because you’ll be taking a riDICKulous amount of photos.

What to Eat

Don’t expect to get shafted on the food because it comes in a variety of dishes and large quantities. One of the famous drinks to try in the Pocheon area is corn makgeolli. It has a refreshing taste especially while in the clean countryside air. If you go with your male friends, they will be given specific cups according to their gender. Women get penis cups and men get boob cups. Don’t you just love all the build up here?

When you order the pajeon, you might sneak a peek at a snatch as you continue your culinary journey. Everything is so strategically placed, I’m almost 100% sure someone gets satisfaction of watching people enjoy disco sticks and clams. If you’re vegetarian or gluten intolerant, the menu doesn’t cater to those restrictions, but when I visited, the staff was kind enough to take my dietary needs into consideration. They will remove the meat from the dishes they can.

Like all places in Korea, drinks are served seasonally and based on seasons. If you’re going in the winter, you will get an extensive list of hot drinks like hot chocolate and tea. I especially enjoyed the little fella to stir up the foam in my drink.

If you loved your time there don’t forget to load up on your very own collection of schlong ceramics at the end of your climax. (That is if your visit really struck your sweet spot.) You can buy pitchers, tea cups, and bread. At the end of our visit, we were gifted with penis keychains as a special souvenir.

I would also like to let you all know there’s no need to apologize for being a freak. You wouldn’t be reading this blog post if someone didn’t bump uglies to get you here. If this Deulmusae Penis Restaurant inspires you to make the trek, by all means have at it.

How to Get There

This restaurant is a bit far from Seoul. But let’s be real, it’s not about the size, it’s about journey to the final destination. Take the subway to Uijeongbu Station (Blue Line 1) and then go out exit 4. Take bus 21 for about 30 minutes.

Address: 700-33 Gwangreungsu Mogwonro, Soheuleb, Pocheon City, Gyeonggi-do

Phone: 031-544-1001; 031-544-0070

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