UPDATE: Aaron and I are no longer together, but I’m choosing to leave this blog post up I’m focusing on the good memories and positives. 🙂
This is a post I’ve been nervous to share for awhile. It’s literally been sitting in my draft box waiting to see the light of day, so here is the shine it’s been longing for. I know when writing about an interracial relationship there are going to be the trolls who find my blog and say, “How dare you betray your “superior” white race, you’re dirty for dating an Asian, ching chong chingity,” and a whole bunch of other racist shit that spouts from their assholes. Newsflash, I’m only half white if you can call Italian “white” and the other half has a fiery Latina waiting to take a crack at people who make racist comments. Just try me, buddy, and make my day.
Anyway…
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I’ve written about my dismal love life before, but for some reason I found my failures more comical to write contrary to my successes. If you don’t laugh at yourself, you’re humorless and you take yourself too seriously. If you don’t have a sense of humor, go and find your humor where you left it! Under the couch or in the 90s, but I digress.
When I met my boyfriend, Aaron, I was in a place where I accepted my single status as permanent in Japan and I had only 7 months left (and I couldn’t wait to get out). I was just told my contract wouldn’t be renewed and I was making plans for my next step—Korea. I decided to go on a language exchange website called Interpals after touring the internet community. Some people have horror stories, I (luckily) do not.
The scenario goes as follows: I didn’t go on this site to date like so many other people. I was looking to make friends before my move and learn Korean. When I stumbled upon my boyfriend’s profile for the first time, it inferred he spoke English well and he was leaving Australia soon because his working holiday visa was about to expire. I didn’t message him. I guess Aaron liked my face so he visited my profile and waited for me to send him a message. I don’t really know how to use the site well, so I never messaged him.
I’m glad he became impatient and messaged me because that started our correspondence over the next five months including his move from Australia back to his native Korea. A week before my birthday, I told Aaron I wanted to meet him. He asked if I really, really wanted to and I said yes. He jumped on a plane two days after my birthday and I met him for the first time at Naha Airport’s International Terminal.
When I first met Aaron, I didn’t know what to think. I was like a deer in headlights (in my brain because I was totally cool on the outside). Here was this guy who jumped the broom and came from Korea to meet me in Japan. OH-EM-GEE. What is life? What am I doing with life? Is life hitting me in the head like it always does? This was crazy, impulsive, insane, and yet so right at the same time.
That holiday weekend in June is one of my fondest weekends. We spent it like any couple would, holding hands, going on dates, and going to my favorite place—the beach. I showed him the culture of Okinawa I love so much. We visited Kokusai Dori, ate Okinawa soba, licked melted beni imo ice cream from our hands, and I played my sanshin for him. I taught him how to float and swim and we waded through the warm aquamarine waters of Okinawa together. My guard was down. I knew he was special and I actually let myself have feelings for him. Needless to say, Aaron felt the same.
I found my weirdo partner in crime and I’m keeping him. Aaron doesn’t just watch my strange antics, he participates. He’s also the only one who laughs at my terrible jokes, and let me tell you, they are awful. I found someone who I can share my secrets and have a good troll with. After all, those who troll together stay together, right?
My boyfriend’s English was good when we started dating, but his English has improved dramatically since. Like any inter-cultural couple, we have our differences and we both try each other’s patience at times. I’ve always been a very direct person (hate me or love me, it still doesn’t change my life) and he’s a bit dense so he appreciates my forwardness. We can’t use indirect communication because it will be lost on the other. Both of us have to state exactly what we want and I’m so grateful for that. Dating is a game anywhere, but the rules seem to change when two people from different countries come together. The bottom line is, we don’t play games. We can’t if we want our relationship to work because as good as his English is and as much as I’m trying to learn Korean, we still have a language barrier.
In a way, I find myself falling for Korea through him and falling for him through Korea. But let me set the record straight. I don’t like Korea because of Aaron or Aaron because I like Korea. Those two things are separate yet intermingle along some of the same lines. I see the best parts of Korea through him and it makes me more determined to learn his language so I can understand him better. Aaron sees his country through my eyes as I discover, indulge and diverge Korea. Aaron makes my life so much brighter and I can’t wait to see where our relationship takes us. I told one of my best friends in the states, “I waited a long time for him.” (Four years to be exact. What took you so long, Aaron? lol)
With Aaron, I feel free and liberated. Aaron doesn’t try and mold me into the person he sees fit, he just pushes me to be the best version of myself. He loves traveling, eating and exploring as much as I do. He likes teasing me and making me laugh. I’m not in a cage when I’m with Aaron. He listens (most of the time), comes to my rescue when I need him, and waits patiently and I do the same with him. If I go off and do my own thing, it doesn’t bother him because he’s just as independent. (But on the real, it’s great we like climbing mountains and stuff.) I found my best friend and I went halfway across the world to do it. I think, maybe, just finally I found my real life Tuxedo Mask.
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39 Comments on How I Met My Boyfriend
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This is so cute! I am so glad you found happiness!
Thank you so much! I’ve been waiting for him a long time!
woow! this is amazing …and lovely….but its hard for black girls right?
Not at all. I had lots of friends who are black and they have boyfriends or husbands that are Korean.
I loved reading this! And I’m so happy for you Gina!! I definitely can relate to having a language barrier with my husband and not being able to use indirect communication as well. I wish you the best and hope you have the most amazing adventure!
Thanks so much! It’s great to know about people who also have an intercultural relationship! The rules change a bit when you date someone from a different country for sure! 😉
Aaw, I am so happy for you! 😀 This was such a good read and makes me want to give you a big hug (also hoping your good luck with Cupid will rub off on me)! Thanks for sharing. <3
Hahaha. Thanks Jen! I appreciate the love! Cupid hit me in the face for 4 years before I found Aaron. You don’t want my luck… Trust me 😉
I’m so happy for you! You two look really happy, and I hope you continue to have many adventures together. It’d be really cool if we could meet up this coming summer in Korea! 🙂
Thanks, Mari! You’re too sweet! <3 <3 <3 Let's meet up in Korea this summer for sure! I would love to see you and your boo thang! Double date! Double date!
Love this! Your honesty about how you met is great. I met two boyfriends in a similar way. Some people are so weirded out by online language sites but I think they are awesome. How else can you meet people who don’t speak your language, ya know!
I think online language sites are also pretty cool! You meet some super interesting people on there. I met a really cool guy from Germany with the best sense of humor! He was hilarious! I didn’t tell my parents the entire truth about how we met, but I’m sure my mom is gonna have some words with me later. 😛
Gina, that is awe-inspiring story you have shared. Such sincerity with which you have told the story. Life lead us to where our desires are. And you are fortunate the universe brought someone you can share your moments with, whether good or bad. It is all about understanding your differences and having each other’s back at all time. I wish you two a happy union.
Thanks so much, Williams Kyei! I really appreciate the kind words. I was definitely blessed the universe decided we would be a good fit. I hope we have many happy moments together.
What a nice story. So glad the two of you found eachother. You know if you have a keeper when you can be your weird self around them and they join in!
Megan, right? Those who weirdo together, stay together. Lol.
I’m glad you finally decided to share such an intimate part of your life. Starting a blog, I had the same issues about what I should or should not share with the public. I am Filipino married to my Caucasian husband with a 2 1/2 year old son. We have been married for 15 years and haven’t felt too much racial tension due to the fact that we are a mixed racial couple. I know that some family would prefer you marry within your race, but my family have welcomed him with open arms and we never had to battle any negative feedback from friends. I would hope that people would be more open minded and accepting. Congratulations on finding a great boyfriend!
I’m happy you haven’t had any tensions in your family for having an interracial marriage. It’s always good to know that both families were accepting. I think Western Women and Asian Men are still a rare pairing so there is definitely some setbacks from it. I don’t share everything going on in my life, but he’s definitely a big part of it.
It’s funny how you seem to find the thing you were looking for when you’re not actually looking. Glad you found someone who makes you happy! 🙂
That usually always happens doesn’t it? Hahaha. He literally came out of nowhere.
It’s always fun to look back at something and understand why things happen the way they happen. I’m a true believer in fate and that everything falls into place in our lives. How you met your boyfriend sure was fate – no doubt about it!
Thank you so much! <3 <3 <3 I think maybe it definitely was fate. The chips fell into place at the right time.
Thanks for sharing your personal story, and congratulations on your happiness! I understand and agree with your opinions on intercultural relationships. It has its ups and downs, but for me too, I’m so glad I’m with my Korean wife. The language barrier is the most difficult thing to overcome, but language is one thing that we can learn to enhance the relationship.
The language barrier is the toughest but what comes out of it is the most rewarding, I think. You develop your own special language with your significant other and find creative ways to help you communicate.
This story is too cute. It sounds like you two are great companions and best buds – the perfect recipe for a strong relationship. I’m happy you two found each other!
We are two weirdos in a pod for sure! Hahaha. Thank you much! <3
What a fun piece. I’m glad you finally brought your piece to life (I definitely have a few posts that I should publish). Sometimes you never know where you’ll find love. I’m glad you found your happiness in Aaron. All the best!
By the way, I think since you now live in Korea you have to change your “About Gina” section.
It took a lot of courage to hit the publish button. Don’t be afraid to publish. The biggest challenge is taking the leap there! I hope to read your published posts! And will do!
Aww, you two are so cute. It was a lot of fun to read the story of how you met and see how it’s transitioned into a happy life together! I hope you guys all the best and it looks like you’re off on the right foot!
PS. Ryan and I have also dressed as Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask for Halloween! Best couple costume EVER!
Thank you so much for your sweet compliment! <3 And OMG. Really? Can I see pictures of your couple costume? Is it on your blog? I love Sailor Moon!
It was great reading this, because I also met my boyfriend on interpals! xD I joined it before I moved to Korea to try to make some friends and practice Korean, and he found me on there and changed it into a dating experience haha. My story isn’t as cute as yours though ^^
Alice, I’d be super excited to know your love story too! Can you share it on your blog? I really love what you write. Dating a Korean man is awesome. 😉
This is so sweet and inspiring. Like you, I’ve had many comical failures but this post gives me hope that my fairy tale ending is yet to come and that traveling isn’t a hinderance but an opportunity!!
Traveling is definitely an opportunity! I met my boo abroad so it’s definitely possible. The world is so big so there’s definitely a person you will eventually connect with!
Such a cute story! I’m in an intercultural relationship myself and I wouldn’t wanna miss it. This is how I improved my English, this is how I learned so much about a different culture, this is how I might have gotten even more tolerant by someone from a different country telling me what he thought about my thoughts. It’s a beautiful romance. All the best for you two!
wow! I really like Korean boy but Its very had for me to meet with them because am black! can I meet with Korean? do they really like black????
First of all, love is love. It doesn’t matter what race, ethnicity, color, etc. you are. If you find a nice man, it shouldn’t matter what he is either. I’m also very wary of responding to “Will this Korean guy like me even though I am [insert race, color, religion, etc. here].” No matter what culture or country you come from, guys are pretty much the same. Read this blog post: http://ginabearsblog.com/2017/08/women-experiences-dating-korean-men/
Hi Gina
I enjoyed reading your post, how you met your former boyfriend and the feelings that developed soon after. Just sad that it did not work out. Are you with someone new now?
All the best,
Cherry
Hi Cherry,
Thanks for finding this post from a long time ago. It’s nice to look back on it myself and remember a happy chapter in my Korea journey. I have been happily singly for almost three years now. I’m also relieved it didn’t work out because there was something better waiting for me at the end of the tunnel. As for the foreseeable future, I will probably never discuss my dating life publicly on social media again. Having a relationship in the public is really scary as some people on the internet can be cruel and say nasty things about you and your partner. I will probably just be keeping it to myself, my close friends and family. Hoping you’re well.
Gina