Today’s post is an immensely personal one. If you’re looking for laughs, disregard this post, but if you’re interested in a part of my life I haven’t shared until now, keep on reading.
Now I’ve spent some time away from Japan, I feel more comfortable writing the realities of what happened to my personal growth instead of focusing on all the fluffy, “Yay Japan” stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I had a great time and wonderful experiences like when I was selected as a Tokyo Orientation Assistant for newbie JETs, when I traveled with my family, and when I met a Korean-Russian in Tokyo who told me his life story. Living in Japan was an eye-opener because I realized America is not the center of the universe. Being an expat changed me. Living in Okinawa and swimming in the sapphire ocean made me feel liberated and free. I just graduated college and I was at the tail end of an awful breakup and looking to find me again. Okinawa gave all that and more as I discovered myself and what I really wanted in life.
Japan was a never a country I was destined to call home or feel at home. That doesn’t mean I didn’t meet amazing and inspiring people or have fantastic co-workers. In fact, my school back in Japan was flippin awesome. My kids were super sweet and my co-workers were the shizz. I just didn’t like living in Japan.
I guess what inspired this post was an old friend and former OkiJET commented how Korea has been doing wonders for me.When I thought about my friend’s comment and asked my mom about it, she concurred. She said there’s a huge difference in my pictures in Japan versus my pictures now in Korea.
Blog Posts You Might Like
- How Being an Expat Changed Me
- How I Stay Healthy in Korea
- My Life in Japan Isn’t a Fairytale
- Why Dating is Hard For Foreign Women in Japan
- Why I’m Beautiful in Korea
- Why I Prefer Living in Korea Over Japan
Why Did I Gain Weight in Japan?
Part of my unhappiness stemmed from gaining so much weight. I was doing Cross Fit and putting on muscle, but I wasn’t eating well to aid my muscle gains. You know those people who have incredible strength, but the jelly of Santa in the belly area? Yup, that was me. I drove everywhere because Okinawa doesn’t have good public transport. We have a monorail and buses that run on Okinawa time. Take your pick. Owning a car is a must.
Since I don’t like Japanese (minus sushi) or Okinawan food, I ate anything and everything that wasn’t. I devoured a lot of mango curry with a huge garlic and cheese nan on the side, Japanese-Mexican food, large amounts of sushi, too much yakiniku (barbecue), and entire pizzas. I hardly ate pizza in the homeland, but I was guzzling it like a fat kid on his last night before going to fat camp. Unfortunately, as a result of trying to eat food that tasted good and not cooking at home because of limited foods I liked at the grocery store, it was showing.
Why? Why would I do that to myself? In short, I was eating my feelings. The more delicious the food tasted, the more amazing I felt in the moment, but once I was done scarfing down an enormous plate of food, I felt guilty. I knew I shouldn’t be eating that much, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was the moment I felt good because my final few months in Japan were miserable. Humans are predictable. They like what feels good.
Communication
Effective communication attributed to another puzzle piece of my unhappiness. I couldn’t ask many questions and if I did something wrong, I would have to start an entire process all over again. In addition, sometimes it was a lecturing game. They knew I could understand them, but I couldn’t say much back…. And I HATED that.It was frustrating and I knew I couldn’t change Japan, but at the same time, sometimes I couldn’t control the anger I had inside from being unhappy all the time.
The Japanese have done things they way they have for thousands of years and they’re still around. Even though (I believed) my way would have inevitably been faster, there is still a very “by the book” way of doing things in Japan. If you don’t do it the aforementioned way, the Japanese are unforgiving and incapable of giving other solutions. I used to think of them as mini computers saying, “does not compute” to cheer myself up when things went awfully wrong. There is only but one way in Japan and if you don’t do it right… Well, fuck you, do it again.
What I didn’t realize while I was there was things are difficult for Japanese as well. They accept this as the norm because most don’t know another way of life. I could write an entire blog post on Japanese who do feel frustrated and do know better, but I digress. While being in Japan, it was super difficult for me to form true meaningful relationships with Japanese outside my workplace. Sometimes the whole “keeping me at arm’s distance” was too much and I just gave up.
I Felt Fugly
Japanese are very little people. Behind Filipino and Myanmar people, I think they are very small Asians. They are genetically smaller and that’s okay. Humans weren’t built to be the same. All I knew is I didn’t fit the standards of beauty for a foreigner in Japan and I felt it through snide comments, dating, and through media (which is a big reason I didn’t own a TV and I avoided popular Japanese magazines).
A lot of Japanese men wanted the “foreigner experience” with a blonde-haired, blued-eyed, well-dressed girl. They were looking for the stereotypes their media and society pushed on them. I was a huge outlier of what was considered the “pretty foreigner.” Tall, with tan skin, curly hair and dark eyes, the simple answer in Japan was… Da fuq is this? Dating for expat women in Japan is difficult. And I know I’m not the only girl who has felt this way.
I also dated military on Okinawa, but some of the guys dumped me for Japanese girls because they had “yellow fever” and wanted to try something “exotic.” Ouch. Talk about a hit to the ego. I shouldn’t have taken it personally, but I did. I stopped dating military after that fiasco.
My self-esteem was plummeting. Being the minority, it was difficult to find my type of beauty. In America, I was used to seeing all different kinds of beauty and choosing what I liked best for myself. In Japan, there was only one type of beauty: white skin, very youthful appearance, skinny-frail, and jacked up teeth. Yes, the snaggle tooth was actually a thing while I was in Japan. I don’t know if it still is. (Snaggle teeth means youthful because students often have teeth like this. Students=young=youthful appearance. You get the message, right?)
I have always liked my tan skin. Asian women don’t and have made snide comments about how I should cover up so I don’t get tan. I like to wear fitted clothes because baggy clothes make me look like a tub of lard. Asian women don’t like tight fitting tops. I don’t wear short skirts or shorts because I simply don’t have the legs for them. Asian women do. The bottom line is my anatomy is different and there is nothing I can do but embrace it, wear clothes that look good on me, and tell myself every day I like me just the way I am as I look in the mirror. (And let me tell ya, there were days I sat in front of the mirror ugly crying and trying to convince myself I was fine just the way I was.)
Make Up and Clothes
Most products are geared toward skin whitening, looking whiter, being whiter, etc. I like to wear make-up but I don’t need to wear it. Okinawa was always too hot to even bother because it would melt off your face due to humidity and sweat. The fact I couldn’t wear it if I wanted to added to my self-esteem spiraling further down the rabbit hole. The only “make-up” I did have were eyelash extensions because mascara wouldn’t stay on in the humid summer months.
Like I mentioned, Japanese are smaller and I couldn’t get pants that fit, especially off base. Clothes in Japan aren’t made for western bodies with longer torsos, big boobs, muscular arms, or big butts. Everyone on Okinawa dressed like a bum and they owned it. I love to dress in nice clothes, but that wasn’t an option. Dress nice and be stared at by creepy old men or dress like a bum and fly under the radar. Which do you think I chose? Can anyone understand the constant struggle against pit stains and nice clothing?
Illness
My last year was a bit rough because my best friend left. Could you imagine spending every weekend (and many weekdays) with someone, considering them a sister, and then they leave? It was painful to watch her go, but I knew she was going off to be with the love of her life and start a new chapter in America.
I was sick for a long bout and what I thought was bronchitis actually turned out to be asthma after I was examined by a specialist. I felt like I wasn’t getting good medical care, took to Facebook to share my experience about crummy doctors, and ask people for recommendations for good doctors or advice. I was desperate and probably came across as condescending even though that wasn’t my intention. There were some people who had nasty things to say to me via messenger, one in particular told me to go fuck myself and stop talking shit about her country. I found out who my real friends were, but needless to say, the experience left me isolated and lonely. After that ordeal, I learned to love myself and enjoy my own company. Through hardships and trials. I believe God always has lessons to teach us.
Loneliness
Don’t get me wrong. I had wonderful people around me who I actually considered friends, but one thing I’ve always been searching for is a best friend who will never leave me. I cried a lot. And it wasn’t the pretty crying you see on all the K-dramas. It was the ugly crying where I would sit in front of my mirror with snot running down my face and shake from all the feels. In the past, I’ve struggled with bouts of depression and being in a place I didn’t want to be made me feel trapped and claustrophobic. I didn’t want to bother anyone and I suffered alone for awhile, but then I was blessed with my amazing roommate Tiffu, spent weekends with Hugo watching Kpop and Sailor Moon at his house, laughed with Kho on the balcony of the Blue Seal, did yoga with Taylor, and I didn’t feel lonely after. I also sought help from an amazing psychologist and learned how to deal with my second round of culture shock and depression.
How Did I Lose Weight in Korea?
There’s really no magic secret or diet I’ve gone on to lose weight. The majority of my weight loss has to do with diet change. I no longer eat my feelings. Since I actually enjoy Korean food, I don’t mind eating it every day and it shows. Korean food has a lot of vegetables, flavor and spice. Vegetables contain good fiber to fill me up. I know my body can’t handle white rice so I eat it sparingly. I also decided to become vegetarian in 2016 and that has helped maintain my weight. I don’t own a car so I have to walk everywhere and use public transport, inevitably getting more exercise. I go to Cross Fit and when the weather is good and the air isn’t polluted, I run or walk outside just because.
Why Do I Feel Happier in Korea?
I eat better and I have so many things to feel grateful for. Whenever I hear native English teachers in Korea complain about how “supreme” Japan is over Korea, I can’t help but laugh. While I agree the Japanese are super polite and Japan is a gorgeous, clean, and beautiful country, living there is a different story. Would I recommend traveling there? Oh hell yeah! It’s one of the safest countries in the world for female solo travelers and I never feel like I need to look over my shoulder at all times.
With my contract in Korea, I get my entrance and exit flight paid for, bonus pay, half my health insurance paid for, severance pay, and my fully furnished housing paid for. Yeah, our lives are so terrible here, right? What is there not to feel grateful about? I have everything I need and more. Since the cost of living is cheaper, I have more wiggle room to travel, save, and pay off my student loans. I can easily do things alone and it doesn’t require a specific process, ordeal or headache to complete. I can get by knowing a bit of Korean.
Since I learned self-reliance in Japan, I realized I don’t need people to feel complete, but I do like to be around people who genuinely love and care for me as a person (believe me, I am the most loyal friend you will ever meet). I enjoy my own company and my hobbies. I look for fulfilling and meaningful relationships and friendships. If people I encounter cannot give me what I want, I simply move on and not dwell on it. There’s so many cool people here in Korea from all walks of life and I don’t feel like I have to be a part of some “Hawaiian clique” to fit in. Seriously, my last year in Okinawa was an episode of Mean Girls and I’m glad to be removed from that drama.
I also really enjoy Korean, because for those of you who don’t know me outside my blog or YouTube, I have a potty mouth. One of my absolute favorite words in the English dictionary is fuck and I use it daily. If you didn’t guess already, Korean has my favorite swear… I also think it’s incredibly sexy when hot guys speak Korean. Don’t ask me why. I just like the way Korean sounds. I get the warm fuzzies and I’m like, “The way you talk… I like that shit.”
Let me clarify I didn’t feel miserable the entire time I was in Japan. My first two years in Japan were actually super fun and enjoyable. Since this post was such a debbie downer, I’m definitely going to dedicate a post on why I liked Japan. I had a lot of personal growth, I felt pretty, and I was doing my own thing. My third year was the tough year while I had this internal struggle of… What am I doing with my life? Why am I here? Why am I not growing, learning, and loving anymore?
The truth is, when you’re unhappy on the inside, it shows on the outside. No matter how hard you try to hide it in your posts on social media, it will resonate in your eyes and on your face because your soul can’t hide how you truly feel. Whenever I see people posting pictures of the “paradise” called Okinawa, I can’t help but remember how I lied to myself, thinking a beach paradise is what everyone wants and I had the “perfect” life. Just remember, there’s always trouble in paradise, no matter how beautiful it looks on the outside. Right now, Korea may be my paradise, but a year from now, it could be my hell. I don’t know. What I do know is I’m happy on the inside and it shows on the outside. I have everything I’ve ever wanted for my expat experience and more. The minute my inner happiness goes away is the time I will re-evaluate my life and assess if the direction I’m going is detrimental to my happiness. Take it from someone who has been there. What do you think?
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31 Comments on How I Lost Weight in Korea and Got Fat in Japan
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Hi! I can relate so much to this post (and others). My partner and I have a couples position in Japan in an area where there are few to zero foreigners. We also must drive everywhere, so the active life we once had is gone. We also have been unable to make friends as our Japanese is not good- but we are trying. As much as we try to talk to locals, there seems to be no desire from them at all to talk to us. Except for the occassional grandpa! They always approach us and ask where we are from 🙂
For the most part, our job is pretty manageable. But when I have a bad day, I eat everything in sight! These days I have a bad day every week! I’m eating things I never ate in the US. Like you, there are entire pizzas in there and packages of donuts. I’m so unhappy in many ways, but am happy to be teaching in Japan. I have no friends to hang out with or talk to, except my partner. We feel so lonely here.
I also cannot fit into the pants (or shoes!) And it sucks. Coats that fit me up top, refuse to close around my hips. My partner even told me how big my ass looks in Japan (which neither of us mind). We don’t see the body diversity that we did in the US. I think it is starting to weigh me down. I have a lot of work to do on myself mentally (and physically since the pizza is also weighing me down, too).
I really enjoy your posts. They are a great help!
-A
Ashley,
I seriously loved the old people in Japan. I was pretty much adopted by my Okinawan grandma while I lived there. She was the best and she took care of me really well. If you can find a family to take you in (who speak a bit of English), your life will get a bit easier.
I definitely love the more active lifestyle I’ve easily acquired in Korea. The portion sizes in Korea are bigger, but since they’re so tasty and fill me up, I can definitely wait until my next meal. I think portion sizes are way too small in Japan. Then again, small people=smaller food portions, right? I think living in Japan is a mental test and a very difficult one. I cracked toward the end of my third year, but I don’t wish that on anyone! Everything you’re saying definitely is true for me too, except I had problems fitting things in the top area too. If I didn’t go shopping on base, I would have had no shorts or pants!
Thanks for reading, Ashley! I hope things get better for you and you find a way to get back to your active lifestyle and not guzzle pizzas like I did. Hahaha. I love pizza. Some pizza places in Japan are the bomb. Pizza is power. Have power over the pizza. <3
You are amazing! Thank you!
-Ashley
Damn girl good on you for writing such a personal post. Because I don’t know what you looked like in Japan I can’t say anything about weightloss but you look great in your Korea pics so keep it up! I think for the longest time I also had a tendency to “eat my feelings”. It’s taken such a LONG time to break this happen. I also have stopped eating out as much and prefer to eat at home so that I can control what I eat (veg & protein specifically). Keep on doing what you are doing, things can only go up from here!
Eating your feelings is such a difficult habit to break. I think once you find your inner happiness, eating your feelings goes away. Also, I think once you learn to cook at home with what you have, it definitely gets easier. And thanks so much! I really love how well my skin turned out in Korea too because of the diet and climate change.
It’s really nice to hear you’re finding happiness and have found someone to share it with. It’s too bad you have so many bad feelings about Japan, perhaps you stayed a year too long? I feel like alot of the things you don’t like about Japan are also very present in Korea, but perhaps finding someone to share your life with has changed your perspective while living here. I am looking forward to reading your post about things you enjoyed about Japan.
On the contrary, I think I stayed the right amount of time. My last year in Japan was tough, but through those hardships, I did triumph and I learned a lot about myself. I learned how to enjoy my own company, ask for help when I need it, and how to sort the good people from the shitty ones. I honestly think Japan is more rigid in comparison to Korea. This country seems far more westernized in comparison of where I used to live. My boyfriend is part of my happiness, but not the whole part. 😉 I’m looking forward to sharing the post on things I love/miss about Japan.
You go girl! You look great! I am glad you’re finding your place in Korea and regaining the sense of self that you lost in Japan. I can definitely see a difference in the Japan vs. Korea photos, but I think you look great in both, just certainly happier in the Korea pictures. Being in love, comfortable and surrounded by great people certainly helps any situation, so I’m happy to hear (err…read?) that all of these factors (and more!) are playing into your happiness.
As far as entire pizzas and the like, I definitely feel you! I’ve lost quite a bit of weight here myself. If you’re interested in continuing a healthy journey, I found that the app MyFitnessPal really helps. Don’t get me wrong, I still eat entire pizzas (praise the $5 Pizza School) but it’s all in moderation now! If you ever need workout motivation or anything, you can find me on there as “lauraphish.”
Thanks so much! I definitely agree personality-wise Korea is a better fit for me. Slow island life wasn’t my thing and it definitely made me feel awful on the inside. I definitely think the people I surrounded myself with are awesome and much better than some of the company I was keeping in Japan.
I also saw you use Blogliates for fitness. (I totally need to use some of her videos. There’s so much great stuff!) I use free work out cardio videos on Youtube. For me, Korean food is so delicious because spicy food is my jam. Are you a fan? Apparently, spicy food is good for stress too! Maybe that’s why I was stressed in Japan! Ha. I think I have an account at MyFitnessPal too. I’ll add you because I’m not sure what my username is.
Just seeing your response now! I am certainly a fan of spicy food! To me, Korea’s spiciest foods are mild! I’m all about Thai food or Indian curry. I actually carry cayenne and hot sauce with me because I’m psycho. I really love the Korean side dish 고추장아찌, or pickled gochu peppers. I’m literally obsessed! If you love da spice you should try it if you haven’t!
It definitely sounds like Korea is a better fit for you 🙂 For me, I was in a similar place of unhappiness and dissatisfaction with my current situation before I moved to Korea. Taking that leap and doing it ‘for me’ was a huge step in my personal growth. Now I try to make my life decisions based on what makes me happy, and it’s working out pretty well so far!
Keep having fun in Korea!
That sounds amazing! I’m glad we both made the leap to find a place of inner happiness. We all deserve to be happy and healthy! Stay awesome!
You look fantastic and happiness suits you 🙂 I am so glad you are enjoying Korea so much.
Thanks so much, Hannah! I appreciate it! I think happiness suits everyone!
Really interesting post. I felt a lot about Korea that you felt about Japan, so I’m fascinated to read that you don’t have any of those feelings about Korea. I’m really happy for you that you have found happiness in Korea – that’s all that really matters at the end of the day!
I think part of the reason I don’t feel this way about Korea is because I have such a good support network. I have my boyfriend and Korean friends I met while in Japan. Also, since I’ve been losing weight, no one has commented I need to shed a few extra pounds. In fact, they all say the opposite! They say my face looks thinner and ask me what I’m doing. To which I reply, “I eat Korean food.” Hahahaha. I also think because I appreciate their culture, they leave me alone 😛
This post is touching on a lot of things that, after the 1.5 years I’ve been in Okinawa, I’m really starting to feel. I too gained weight from coming here and it is so nice to hear that another expat doesn’t really love Japanese food. Its just sorta… blah. With my husband being gone so often since coming here, I have learned how to love being alone. Almost to my detriment. The more I’m alone the harder it is to put myself out there, and when I do, the people don’t seem worth the time. Making friends as an adult stinks lol. Thank you for sharing this. I’m happy that you have found happiness in Korea!
I totally agree. Whoever said Japanese food was healthy was a huge liar. Okinawan food is actually quite healthy, but a lot of people eat very unhealthily in Okinawa. Especially at Japanese work parties, the majority of their food is fried and gross. Japanese food doesn’t have the rich flavors some of us may crave. Being alone and learning how to love it is a blessing and a curse. Being an adult definitely sucks especially when some people can’t get out of the “cliquey” high school mindset. Thanks for taking the time to read my post and comment! Good luck for the rest of your time in Okinawa!
Sounds like a really tough time in Japan you had. But I can’t imagine where the “Asian women don’t like tight fitting tops” observation comes from:-). I’m Asian (Filipino) and I know we do. Koreans do, too, they’re Asians. Anyway, most of what you didn’t like in Japan are here in Korea, too. Koreans are terribly condescending about weight and looks. I think, it’s all about perspective.
But, I am genuinely happy that you have found your happiness and comfort here in Korea. That’s nice to hear. Keep on being happy.
My perspective definitely comes from Okinawa and mainland Japan. I hardly ever saw girls wearing tight fitting tops unless we were out at the club. Korean women are similar in my observation. Many of their tops are looser fitting and up to their necks. I find their mini skirts, pants, and shorts are tight, but not their tops. Koreans can be condescending about looks, but I’ve gotten the exact opposite here that I did in Japan. They like that I’m tall and not mini (being small is beautiful in Japan), they like my “big” eyes (even though I don’t have them), and I like putting on make up as much as they do. I guess you can say my home town, Chicago is very similar. It’s all about looking good, high fashion, and feeling good. Perhaps that’s why I feel more comfortable here. I just didn’t like the island bum life of Okinawa. It wasn’t my style.
Very interesting~
I never actually experienced Japan first hand, I really don’t know about how different the people are outside of the Japanese friends that I’ve had back home. The Korean/Japanese students in Toronto got along nicely different from all the drama in the actual countries and the news. I’ve had friends both Japanese and Korean in Toronto, they struck me as being very similar! They had some personality quirks that seemed to be different, but both cases might have been more adapting to life abroad, so perhaps different than in their home country.
Reading about some of the issues you’ve had in Japan, actually sound quite similar to some problems I’ve heard people experience in Korea. It’s a bit confusing to read almost the opposite comparison.
But I think that the whole frame of mind makes a difference. I think when we are miserable we notice problems MORE! Like you mentioned that you couldn’t stand the food, so you ate the other food that made you feel good, then you gained weight. Over all would you say that that would affect the overall view? (PS. I’m not criticizing, I’m actually interested to know! )
In Korea, you can enjoy the food, +1, lose weight, +2, meet a nice guy. When a few things go well for us, we can overlook other issues, easier.
Of course, I don’t know Japan. I might be way off.
NICE title too: “my boo bear-knight in shining armor-Tuxedo Mask-man candy, Aaron” lol
I think exchange students are definitely more open minded because they’re both in the same boat together. They’re far away from home and in a strange land. They also have the opportunity to look at their homeland from afar and I also think that helps. I have Japanese and Korean friends. One of the things I’ve noticed is that Koreans are a bit more direct. If they don’t agree, they will tell you. As people they don’t try to hide their emotions. I understand Japanese culture and I also understand my Japanese friends don’t like confrontation which is why they won’t speak up. Not everyone is like this and I have Japanese friends who will tell you what’s up.
I think it depends on the personality of the person. I don’t like island/beach bum life. I also appreciate how I have food options and things to do. You can only go to the beach so much until it gets boring.
I think part of my misery was I was culturally fatigued. In Japan, it’s difficult for the Japanese to accomplish simple tasks because that’s just the system. It’s ten times more difficult for a foreigner because we don’t know all the rules that go into doing simple tasks. My life was more difficult than it should have been.
Funny fact, I met my boyfriend while I was in Japan. I actually wasn’t in Korea yet. 😉
Thank you for writing this post! While you and I came to Okinawa for different reasons, I can identify with your thoughts about not feeling pretty here! I have had this discussion so many times with friends. Since my husband is military, I was lucky to sort of have built in friendships through our squadron’s spouse group. On the other hand, I teach English part time in Okinawan schools (which I love!) and I’m ALWAYS feeling like why should I bother getting pretty or putting real clothes on when I’m just going to look like a hot mess as soon as I walk out the door into the humidity (as you know, air conditioning is not a thing here)?! I do love living on this beautiful island and Japanese people are wonderful, but I also miss my career back in the states and having a purpose (and better weather conditions) to get dressed up and go to work or go out to a nice dinner (not really a thing here either). I am so glad that you found your happy place in Korea. I hope to visit Korea in 2016! After a difficult year, I’ve also been learning a lot of the life lessons you talk about and that only you can make you happy. Oh and crossfit, Blue Seal, and swearing make me happy too! 🙂 🙂 🙂 Wishing you much joy and many blessings in the New Year!
It’s always good to have a support group! Support definitely helps when Japanese start making snide comments about your appearance. It’s also good to be around people who accept there are different kinds of beauty instead of just one standard. I totally agree with you about the job. I loved my job in Okinawa and I miss it sometimes. It’s a chore to even look good in Okinawa because your make up can and will melt off your face. Air conditioning is definitely not a thing in Okinawa. Hahaha. There have been many times I had to go home and change because I sweat through my clothes. I’m so glad we’re very alike in our views of Cross Fit, Blue Seal and swearing. It takes a lot of mental training to find your happy place. I hope you get there soon! Many blessings to you and your family this New Year! <3
“I was eating my feelings” resonates with me. I call recall at several times in my life when things weren’t going that well and well the pleasures of food substituted my inability to really cope with the reality of my misery. It happens.
What’s really great is identifying the issues and being able to overcome them and make strides to a healthier/happier existence.
Kudos!
Yeah. We’re human and we make mistakes. Stuff happens. Life isn’t always going to be daises and unicorns. I learned what I was doing wrong and now I won’t do it anymore. Thanks so much for reading!
Wow, just reading this post sums up the entirety of my Korean experience honestly to the tee. There are the parallels of weight gain, horrible depression, illness, and flat out losing all my self-esteem. I had a very visceral reaction reading your post, being transported back to that dark time in life and I think it goes to show that every individual responds to a certain place completely personally and that is why we should be putting ourselves out there to new experiences instead of just living vicariously through others. The same is happening in Vietnam right now — my boyfriend HATES it while I couldn’t be happier. These stories are lessons about finding our place in the world wherever it may be. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story and I hope you continue to be joyful and your best self in Korea <3
I think in many ways unhappiness leads to stress which leads to weight gain, depression and losing your self-esteem. Korea was never meant to be home for you, but Vietnam is most likely doing wonders for you! I bet you’re just glowing now! The world is enormous and I love Korea. This may very well be my home for awhile. I hope you and your boyfriend can find a middle ground and make Vietnam work. I’m also sure he’s super happy to see you being a happier more beautiful version of yourself was well! <3
hii, how are you darling? i’ve just found your blog and it’s amazing, really!
i’m 15 and i dream of living in Korea, first i’ve thought about Japan, but i changed my mind through the years. i don’t know if i’d still want to live there when i graduate, but i’m already planning. i want to study korean and the best way is to live there, isn’t it? i’m really anxious cause i’m not that pretty and of course don’t fit korean beauty standards (and my appearence is really important for me) and i also don’t know how to make friends. yayyyyyy! i have a mental illness and i feel really bad when i’m alone (i fall really deep into depression and also it’s a fast process to happen) so i’m really scared of being alone, but i want to live there. i’m from brazil and it’s really hard to learn their language. i don’t know what i expect for you to answer but i know that i really wanted to share this with someone. thank you so much for you attention and keep going with the blog beautiful! i love you xoxo 😉
I am now on my third year of living in Tokyo and oh my god… the wayyyyy I resonate with your post.
I am glad you have finally passed the challenging times and achieving your own personal growth, I’m also now considering to move to Seoul, but I’m still thinking… hahaha I could go on and on.
Thank you for this and keep being happy!
This post is really powerful. Sharing your experiences really helps because honestly the challenges that crop up when living abroad can feel so isolating! Your notes on beauty standards and expectations they put in Japan are so true, it sucks that it’s hard to buy clothes there. And food can be hard too.
Glad to hear that things patched up in Korea