10 Biggest Dating Mistakes in Korea

So I know talking about dating in Korea is a super hot topic. I get so many questions like, “What’s it like dating in Korea?” Dating in Korea as a foreigner can be scary. Heck. Dating in general is scary. While I’ve answered those questions in other blog posts, I haven’t answered some mistakes you can make while dating in Korea.

Related: Dating in Korea 101

1. Not Texting Back ASAP

I don’t know about other countries, but in dating in Korea vs America is an entirely different ball park. When we get a number we usually don’t contact the person until after three or more days have passed. We usually play it cool like we were “busy” so we don’t seem desperate. In Korea, if a guy gets your number and is interested, he will probably be texting you nonstop. In our home countries we’d be like ummmm…. But in Korea this is totally normal.

Usually if you’re not texting him back nonstop then you’re showing that you’re not interested and he will probably move on.

2. Not Becoming Official After Three Dates

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Many Koreans go by the “three date rule.” So after they’ve seen someone for three dates, the expectation is that you like them enough to have seen them three times, so you should become a couple.

And probably 100 days later, if you really like someone, you’ll get a Korean couple ring to put a marker on your territory.

As an American, this style mind boggles me. After all, how can you really know someone after just three dates?

I usually have to date someone exclusively for a couple months and get comfortable with the idea of a label before I jump into a relationship with them. If you’re also quick to jump into relationships, then this Korean dating style is probably up your alley.

3. Forgetting Couple Holidays

Dating in Korea as a foreign woman can definitely be headache inducing. Korea has so.many.couple.holidays. It blows my mind how many there are. But if you’re on the struggle bus, then just remember the 14th of every month is a couple holiday. For example, Valentine’s Day, White Day, Rose Day, Kiss Day, and Silver Day. The list goes on and on.

Now your partner may or may not be into this, but couples also celebrate 100 days of dating and even 300 days. Those are pretty important milestones in a relationship you probably shouldn’t forget.

Related: 10 Types of Fuqbois You Meet in Korea

4. Not Being Careful of Language Exchanges

Alas, while this is one way to meet a boyfriend, there are just as many horror stories to come out of this. If you don’t want to be eskimo sisters with another foreign lady you know, I highly suggest that you be careful.

A lot of Korean guys go to language exchanges with the intention of getting a foreign girlfriend or sleeping with a foreign girl. Some women will swear by meeting their significant other at a language exchange. Others will swear to stay away from them.

Whatever your choice, always be sure you really know who someone is before you date them.

5. Using His Culture as an Excuse

When we are unfamiliar with a foreign land and culture, sometimes we chalk up bad behavior as being “part of the culture.” This is not the case and it is the easiest way to get taken advantage of.

Believe me, it happened to me. I thought one of my ex boyfriends was open minded. We went dutch on dates, but spoiler alert… He lived with me, didn’t pay utilities or rent, or buy groceries. This is just my personal experience, but if a guy proudly claims he’s open-minded, and doesn’t show it through his actions he’s just all hot air.

I used to think that this behavior was normal because he was Korean, but it was just downright financial abuse by an overgrown man child.

This is where I want you to take a step back and repeat after me, “Stop looking at that bouquet of a dozen red flags through rose colored glasses, FOOL.”

6. Dating Just To Date

Koreans do relationships pretty darn quickly. They especially jump into them around Christmas time. Koreans are notorious for “feeling super lonely” around that time of year and usually get into a relationship as quick as possible so they’re not pathetic and single.

There’s also the clout that comes being in relationships in Korea. Sometimes it’s just to brag about it on social media. In a way, Koreans can be vague. They date people just for the sake of showing their “puke adorable” happiness on da ‘gram.

Related: Will Korean Guys Date Me?

7. Making Inappropriate Jokes

While I am a huge fan of dick, fart, and shit jokes… Koreans don’t find it as funny. As a matter of fact, talking about sex in public (even jokes) makes men and women want to die of embarrassment.

Unfortunately, Korea is still a very conservative country and poor sex ed leads to very negative stigmas about sex in general. Unless you want to be perceived as a giant weirdo or a piece of cake, then I suggest keeping these jokes to yourself.

8. Not Having the Feminism Talk

Feminism is still seen as a very dirty word here in Korea. People have even coined the term Feminazi to describe women who make statements and fight against the patriarchy. If equality is something important to you, then you should have this talk early on.

Ask him about his opinions on gender equality, me too, and rape culture in South Korea. I also suggest asking him if he thinks it’s okay to film himself having sex with his significant other without consent because molka and revenge porn is a thing here.

Depending on his answers, either educate him or proceed to throw the entire man away.

9. Not Double Checking Relationship Status

The older you get, the more wary you become of cheaters. In today’s world, it’s super easy to cheat since you can get on a dating app with the touch of your finger. While cheating is very taboo in America, (and people will tell you what an awful human you are if you do it) in Korea, it’s almost seen as normal and should happen at some point.

I implore you. Regardless of age, nationality, job, etc, you NEED to check up on your potential love interest’s marital status. If he only gives you his Line… He’s cheating. If he puts you in a Kakao chatroom through a link… He’s cheating. Use everything at your disposal to discover who he is, Inspector Gadget.

10. Pursuing A Guy Not Into You

This is one of the biggest pieces of advice I can ever give anyone (and remains ignored for the most part). It doesn’t matter what country, culture, or planet he is from. If a man likes you, then he WILL pursue you. He will make time for you and he will make an effort.

Is he not texting you back because he’s Korean? Is he avoiding you because he’s Korean? Is he not making time for you because he’s Korean?

No, my friend. It has nothing to do with his ethnicity. You have just stumbled upon 음식물 쓰레기.

In Conclusion

Luckily interracial dating in Korea is pretty common. You’ll see couples from all over the world here. In my opinion, compared to Japan, I think Koreans are more open minded when it comes to having relationships and meeting people all over the world.

I’ve made tons of mistakes when dating here in Korea so if you see a red flag, run away Simba and never return. Don’t pursue someone who isn’t into you, don’t use his culture as an excuse, and if he isn’t open minded about feminism, then I think you know what to do. Good luck my friends, and happy dating.

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